LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINSLADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS never received a formal theatrical release and was only seen on late-night cable, poor-quality bootlegs, or on rare occasions at film festivals. Yet somehow this 1981 film about a trio of misfit teenage girls who start a punk band went on to inspire a generation of female rockers. Recently orphaned Corrine Third Degree Burns (a 14-year-old Diane Lane) enlists her cousin (Laura Dern) and sister (Marin Kanter) to launch a punk rock band, The Stains. Three rehearsals later, The Stains score the opening slot on a cross-country tour with aging metal act The Metal Corpses (led by Fee Waybill of The Tubes) and British punk rockers The Looters (real-life punk pioneers Paul Simonon from The Clash and Steve Jones and Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols). The Stains meteoric rise (and equally lightening-quick fall) owes more to TV exposure than to talent. Details: Color
Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous StainsDirected by Lou Adler
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS never received a formal theatrical release and was only seen on late-night cable, poor-quality bootlegs, or on rare occasions at film festivals. Yet somehow this 1981 film about a trio of misfit teenage girls who start a punk band went on to inspire a generation of female rockers.
SHE CAN T FOOL ALL THE FANS ALL OF THE TIME . . .
Recently orphaned Corrine Third Degree Burns (a 14-year-old Diane Lane) enlists her cousin (Laura Dern) and sister (Marin Kanter) to launch a punk rock band, The Stains. Three rehearsals later, The Stains score the opening slot on a cross-country tour with aging metal act The Metal Corpses (led by Fee Waybill of The Tubes) and British punk rockers The Looters (real-life punk pioneers Paul Simonon from The Clash and Steve Jones and Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols). The Stains meteoric rise (and equally lightening-quick fall) owes more to TV exposure than to talent.
- Amazon Sales Rank: #396 in DVD
- Brand: DVD
- Released on: 2008-09-16
- Rating: R (Restricted)
- Aspect ratio: 1.66:1
- Formats: Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, NTSC, Widescreen
- Original language: English
- Number of discs: 1
- Running time: 88 minutes
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Some movies just stumble towards cult, mythic status; Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains is one of those magnificent accidents. Besides in-fighting, the few previews shown to the public were unanimously panned, Paramount was at a loss as to how to market it, and the movie had never been available on DVD (or VHS, for that matter). This has just compounded its status as a "lost" film, with the few people who have seen it being evangelical in their gossip about this pseudo punk 'n' roll documentary. Now that it’s here, was it worth the wait? Does it hold up over time? You bet it does. Orphaned girls (Diane Lane, Marin Kanter) along with their cousin (Laura Dern) channel their frustration into a band, The Stains. After a few gigs, the media picks up what they consider a novelty. This leads to a tour with The Looters--idealistic punks from London--and the Metal Corpses (headed by Fee Waybil of the Tubes in a perfectly oblivious performance). Head Looter takes head Stain under his wing, only to become disillusioned as he watches the American media, and by extension American teens, chose popularity over talent (as he sees it). Despite their differing views about how the movie should be handled, both the message of girl empowerment (screenwriter Nancy Dowd) and the idea that all great ideas become co-opted and watered-down (director Lou Adler) resonate throughout the film. The performances, while not uniformly great, work so well within the context of the documentary style that they have their own charm. And Diane Lane, as Stain leader Corinne "Third Degree" Burns, is simply outstanding, simmering with angst that bursts out at all the right points. A young Ray Winstone turns in a fine performance as the lead singer of the Looters, showing both contempt and sensitivity towards the fledgling Stains. Adding to its cult credentials, the rest of the Looters are played by Steve Jones and Paul Cook (Sex Pistols) and Paul Simenon (The Clash). With audio commentaries by not only director Adler, but stars Lane and Dern, this movie is not only great for any fans of Times Square and Rock 'n' Roll High School, but it’s a great addition to any library of music films in general. --Robert Arambel
A Three Star Film with a Five Star Ending
Diane Lane is proof that beauty and talent alone are not enough to make you a star. Lane is the daughter of an acting coach and a playboy centerfold, and she has more beauty and talent than any of the other actors of her generation but she has also been in more bad movies than any other actor of her generation.
Although in recent years she has landed roles in some box office hits like A Perfect Storm (2000) and Unfaithful (2002) and thus achieved a kind of belated star status, her best role was her first. In 1979 , she starred with no less than Laurence Olivier in A Little Romance. This is one of the most appealing child-centered films of all-time. After that there were a couple of small but memorable roles in Coppola's S.E. Hinton films, The Outsiders and Rumble Fish (1983), and, later, in Coppola's The Cotton Club (1985). She did take three years off after Cotton Club, but other than that she has worked steadily in mostly forgotten or just plain forgettable films.
And then there is this largely forgotten because seen by so few film from 1982, Ladies and Gentleman the Fabulous Stains. In it, Lane plays a smalltown discontent who makes a splash in the local media when she throws a fit after being fired from her fast food job. Her spunky had-it-with-everything-attitude makes her unemployable thereafter and so she has little choice but to live the life of a rebel, and so she does what most just turned 15 ne'er do wells do, she starts a punk band!
In the early going the film is pretty uneven. Lane herself as Corinne "third degree" Burns is always solid but the other performances are just so so. Laura Dern plays a cousin who is also in the band but she rarely speaks, and Christine Lahti plays her sketchy aunt but utters very few lines. The film achieved its cult status partly because it features Sex Pistols (Jones) and Clash (Simenon) band members but these guys do little more than strike poses and lend the film a certain cool just by hanging out in the background. But, more importantly, the film earned its cult status by being smart about the way the hype-driven record industry exploits both talent and fans. Theres even a dig at the then just launched MTV.
Other than Lane, the only real charisma is delivered by Fee Waybill of Tubes fame. The Tubes had some huge hits in the early 70's with "White Punks on Dope" and "Mondo Bondage" and, in 1982, had yet to make their own big MTV comeback with "Shes a Beauty". Here Waybill plays the lead singer of the Metal Corpses, a one hit has-been rock act that is fueled by drug and groupie addictions. Although the character is not developed enough, its actually a pretty good and memorable performance mainly because Waybill doesn't go for Spinal-Tappish laughs but actually crafts a believable character that is humbled not only by having to play the small club circuit in their days of decline but also face the brash disdain of the young up-and-comers as they do so. There is no peaceful retirment for old rockers.
But the film is Lane's. Corinne Burns is a natural beauty, maybe even a supernatural beauty, and even at 15 she knows how the world works. Workers are exploited by corporations, women are exploited by men, art is exploited by industry. Corinne knows that the hardest thing about life is to not sell-out to anything and she eventually learns the hard way that that is easier said than done. Corinne gains fame by voicing the discontent of her generation of young females and the result is a legion of young fans that want to be just like Corinne Burns. But there is also something ruthless about Corinne and The Stains meteoric rise to fame has as much to do with media savvy as it does with talent. Still, there is something irresistable about Corinne veiling her beauty queen good looks behind punk/new wave make-up and spiked and skunk-striped hair. And something not-quite-consistent about the way she preaches about women "not putting out" while wearing nothing but black panties and a sheer red blouse onstage. But the truthfulness of these observations of the small and the not so small ironies and hypocrisies of fame are what make this film so good.
The film isn't raw enough to have been a hit with the punk crowd, and the film didn't find an audience in this country just like punk didn't find an audience in this country in 1982. In hindsight though the film seemed to predict the rise of Madonna and her legions of followers as well as the pop starlets that followed in her wake.
I don't want to over-hype the film. Its probably a three-star film, but the singlemost reason that this film should be viewed is to see Corinne Burns and the Stains do a cheesy MTV promo video for an awesome punk song (penned by Jones and Simenon) called "I Wanna Be Professional". The video sums up everything, its a five-star ending to a three-star film.
Not the cult classic it once was
A young Diane Lane gives one of cinema's most obnoxious performances in history (and I mean it as a compliment - it's a good acting job) in a movie that seemed so great seeing it 25 years ago when you were a teenager, but seeing it now after all those years, awful! You want to feel sorry for Corrine "3rd Degree" Burns at the start since she's an orphan but with her nasty attitude you wind up rooting for her downfall at the end.
The ending is classic Hollywood absurdity...just after her fans turn on her as a sellout and her career seemingly over, suddenly and with no explanation she's got a hit record and slick video out! Never mind that her hit song was stolen by her from another band with no threat of a copyright lawsuit, her manager had just dumped her and the rest of her band had run off! Was this ending her wishful fantasy or intended to be real?
There is something Madonna-ish in this story, amazing since it came out only a year or two before she hit it big. I think Madonna must have seen this film and copied the clothes and the attitude into her act.
So if you buy this movie to see it for the first time in years, better give it to your teenage kids, they'll love it, but for the rest of us, I think we're all just too grown up now to still like this movie.
I also first saw this on the old Night Flight TV show & was fortunate to record the broadcast. One of my fav trashy films, & it's coming to dvd at last!
I'm hoping they don't edit/censor the film; there is a brief partially nude scene in the original from a then underage Diane Lane. Here's hoping the film we get on dvd is complete. I'll be back to change this review one way or the other as soon as it's released!
Also stars the Tubes Fee Waybill & the late Tubes keyboard player Vince Welnick; + a very young Laura Dern.
Besides being just plain fun & required for Tubes fans (Fee steals the movie), this is also an early indictment of corporate broadcast media.
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